BBC 6分钟英语学习 结交男性朋友

Six news English

from BBC, learning english dot com.

Hello. This is Minute English from BBC Learning English.

I'm Neil, and I'm Beth. There's a famous English saying, A friend in need is a friend, indeed.

And it's true. Everyone needs friends to share lives, ups and downs.

Do you have many friends? Now?

Yes, I have some close friends, but maybe not as many as I'd like.

That's a interesting because often it's women who have many friends, while men find it harder to maintain strong friendships, especially as they get older.

In fact, according to one recent survey, only 27% of British men say they have at least six close friends.

So is it true that men find it difficult to make friends?

Will be hearing from Max Dickens, author of a book on male friendship called Billy No Mates.

And as usual, we'll be learning some useful new vocabulary as well.

But 1st, I have a question for you.

We know that place friends are important, not just for having fun, but for good mental health as well.

So according to research by Oxford Universities Institute of Cognitive Anthropology, how many close friends do we need for our mental well being?

Is it A, five, B, ten or C 20?

I'll say we need at least five close friends.

OK, neil, I'll reveal the answer at the end of the program.

Now, however many friends you have, it's a stereotype that women are better than men are making and keeping close friends.

Here's Claudia Hammond outlining the problem for BBC radio, for program all in the mind now, when times are tough, friends are often the people who get us through, who are there to listen, to reassure, maybe to advise us, if that's what we want.

So why do we sometimes find it hard to make friends, or that the friends we used to have seem to have somehow drifted away?

Now, there is an idea that women are much better at maintaining their friendships, and that men are more likely to hang out with whoever is around rather than to nurture those relationships.

And we are wondering whether this was really true, or or is that just a stereotype?

Claudia uses the phrase, times are tough to describe a situation of trouble, unhappiness or financial difficulty.

Friends help us get through these difficult periods of life.

The frasal verb get through has several meanings, but here it means managed to live through an unpleasant period of time.

The problem may be that your friends have drifted away, gradually moved further and further away until your connection with them has broken.

And it seems that's especially true for men.

That's right. When Arthur Max Dickens was getting married, he realized he didn't have any close male friends he could ask to be his best man, the person who helps the groom at a wedding.

This led him to write the book, billy No Mates, looking at why he didn't have any close male friends.

Here's Claudia Hammond again talking with Max for BBC, radio, for programme, all in the mind a Max.

It's interesting that you can of went public on this if you like.

You know, your book is even called Billy Noma.

It's the very thing that, you know, a lot of us would dread being it can't have been easy to decide to say this publicly.

In a way. Now, it's a real double edged shore being the face of a book called Billy NOMAIDS, have got to say.

But I think so Loneliness doesn't look like me.

I'm in my early to mid thirties.

I'm pretty outgoing. I'm quick to buy my round.

It shouldn't look like me, but increasingly it does.

So Loneliness isn't just the elderly anymore.

It's younger people. Max called his book Billy Nomates, slang for a Person with No Friends.

It's a memorable book title, but Max says being the public face of a book called Billy Nomates is a double edged sword, something with unfavorable as well as favorable consequences.

In fact, max doesn't look like someone with no friends.

He's young, generous and outgoing, an adjective describing someone whose friendly and enjoys meeting people.

But increasingly, loneliness is affecting younger men, thanks partly to social media, which can make it seem as though everyone is having a great time with their mates, except you.

Max thinks the answer is getting out and meeting people in 3rd spaces, places like sports clubs or reading groups, which are separate from either home or work, all of which helps get closer to the magical number of friends needed for good mental health.

I think it's time you revealed the answer to your question.

Bet Yes. I asked how many close friends we need for our mental well being?

You said it was five, which was the correct answer.

According to Oxford Universities professor Robin Dunbar, we need a core circle of

five close friends plus a wider support network of about ten, making a total number of 15 friends for good mental health.

Okay, let's recap the vocabulary from the program, starting with the phrase Times are Tough, which describes periods of trouble or difficulty in life.

If you get through something, you manage to live through a difficult situation, to drift away, it means to gradually move further apart from someone until your relationship with them eventually ends.

Billy nomate is slang for someone who has no friends.

A double edged sword describes something with unfavorable as well as favorable consequences.

And finally, the adjective outgoing describes someone who is very friendly and enjoys talking to people.

Once again, our 6 min are up.

Goodbye for now. Bye. 6 min English from BBC learning English dot com.

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